We learned over the years that lots of guys are "intimate" with animals
Horses, pigs, dogs, chickens ... you name it, and it's been posted here! In this March 29, 2001, story a 33-year-old man videotaped his sexcapade with a male beagle. The tape was found by police who were at the home looking for drugs.
Heard a story the other day from a nurse who worked in an ER. This crazy lady used to come to the ER nearly every day with some sort of ailment or another every day. So one day she comes in and asks the nurse to come out to her car and look at something. So the nurse obliges because they're on a first-name basis because of the frequency of this lady's visits. Anyway, she asks the nurse to look at some puppies in her backseat and tell her if there's anything wrong with them. The nurse said that they didn't treat puppies at the hospital and that the lady will have to take the puppies to the vet. So the lady says, "No. I need you to see if they're HALF-HUMAN." She later went on to explain that she had noticed scratch marks on her husband's arms for awhile and then walked in on him doing the deed with their family dog. The family dog got pregnant and she wanted to know if the puppies were his.
True story. I can't make this sh*t up. That's all I heard of the story because we were all in tears after hearing that much...of course, I can't use the facial expressions the nurse used to tell the story but when she told it, we died laughing....though it's not really that funny.
Posted by: twerp | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 07:18 AM
so.... if they WERE half-human, who would get jurisdiction? the SPCA, or CPS?
Posted by: oldewave | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 08:08 AM
I'd say it would be the MIB or the Ministry of Magic.
Posted by: twerp | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 08:34 AM
Or the White Council? Like in the Dresden Files? I like how you think!!
Posted by: oldewave | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 08:54 AM
dogtaur?
Posted by: Strider | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 08:55 AM
were-beagle! they don't rip your throat out at the full moon, they lick you to death!!
Posted by: oldewave | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 08:58 AM
THAT explains Jacob in the Twilight series! Man, those Native Americans are SICK!!
Posted by: twerp | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 09:26 AM
I thought position dictated the results.
Posted by: RockyMtnMac | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 10:28 AM
I am frightened by the possibility that you know that.
Posted by: oldewave | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 11:11 AM
LoL @ RMM!
oldewave, after I finally read the Harry Potter series a couple of years ago (I was late on that bandwagon--all of the books had been released when I started reading them) and after telling my friend how much I LOVED those books, she recommended the Twilight series.
While the Twilight series isn't NEARLY as entertaining and cleverly written as the HP books, I found myself staying up at all hours of the night reading because I couldn't put the damn books down. Yes, they are a chick series. Yes, they are poorly written but they are extremely entertaining and I LOVE THEM!!
I'm not one of those crazy Twilight fans though. I'm more on the crazy HP bandwagon as I own a "time turner" necklace...
Posted by: twerp | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 11:30 AM
The Harry Potter books are one of the few things that make me wish I was a kid again. I like them as an adult (especially the verbal humor), but they'd have utterly rocked my world if I'd read them as a lonely, bookish, nerdy 10-year old!
Posted by: Phranqlin | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 03:25 PM
Phranq you are right..because the HP books rocked my world as a lonely bookish nerd 40 something !!!
is it wrong to admit I have a crush on Servius and Ron Beasley?
Posted by: lynn | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 11:24 AM
There's nothing wrong with it, lynn. I too have a crush on Severus in the book AND Alan Rickman. However, my crush on Alan started years ago when he was in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves though! Mmmmm...that sheriff can arrest me any day!
Posted by: twerp | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 11:31 AM
oh twerp...alan rickman haunts my dreams and fantasies! he is the only reason i tolerate the movie die hard...i just want to have my wicked way with the man...
i need a cold shower now...
Posted by: lynn | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 11:54 AM
His voice drives me wild! I think I need a cold shower too....
Posted by: twerp | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 12:55 PM
Hey, did you cry too during Severus's death scene in Deathly Hallows Part 2?
Posted by: twerp | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 02:06 PM
I can't get over that someone would see a dog, cat, or some other critter, and think of it as a sex object. The guy who allegedly raped a chicken still blows my mind. Oops, bad choice of words.
So twerp, what answer did the nurse finally give to the possible step-mom?
Posted by: dru | Thursday, September 01, 2011 at 02:31 PM