Naked Pumpkin Run participants face sex offender status

Twelve of the runners who streaked last Friday night wearing nothing but pumpkins on their heads will have to register as sex offenders if they're convicted of indecent exposure. The Boulder paper reports that scientists were among those arrested. (Boulder Daily Camera)

Comments

[sometimesilie]

A Witch! You're all witches! I'm surrounded by witches everywhere! There's a witch in my pants! mmmppfffghfhfhfhdkjkgsjksAAaaa!!!!!!

p.s.- how does running naked with a pumpkin on ones head equate someone with a rapist, chomo, etc.? In other words, where's the 'sex'? And the 'offense', at best, is arguable as such. I don't get it. Then again, I'm not some reactionary wad o'wang with my head rammed so far up my sphincter I literally could not tell you if it were 1692 or 2008.

[R]

Just plain stupid to charge them as sex offenders. I guess they released the Puritans...

[MONKEY JERK]

OMG HOW STUPID CAN THINGS GET. THAT IS JUST DAMN STUPID!!!!

[RockyMtnMac]

Pretty typical Boulder.

[twerp]

I agree it's stupid to charge them as sex offenders.

If they are going to charge people as sex offenders for running through the street naked, they should charge people showing off their thongs (skanky hos) or boxers (saggers) as sex offenders.

Maybe they should charge me as a sex offender because I have THO right now because it's freaking freezing here in my office.

[Torgo]

Kinky!

[Phranqlin]

You won't need to register as a sex offender in Colorado if you're busted for public masturbation, fondling, and consensual public sex ... but you will if you run down the street naked with a pumpkin on your head!

Sigh.

[elchampino]

Beyond the obvious stupidity of this, it's also a waste of time on another level - good luck finding a jury that will pass a conviction down.

[RockyMtnMac]

elchampino
One should NEVER underestimate the stupidity that is Boulder. You can murder a six year old and get away with it, but by Gawd don't you ever run down the street (late) on Halloween, naked with a pumpkin on your head. Also not tolerated is hitting a tree with your car (fine is pro-rated by the life expectancy of the tree), or beer at CU games.

[Grace]

That is ridiculous. I hope that the people who have survived sexualised violations by actual criminals in that state stand up and reject this.

[Lou Sussler]

Twerp, I'm displaying my ignorance because I don't know what THO is; although I have a good guess based on the context and I'm pretty sure some of us know it by another name.

[Charles Brobst]

Eventually every American shall be required to report in with the police on a regular basis for a pass to continue to live. Forget unregulated capitalism or unwarranted fears of 'Socialism', it is the total police state that is breathing down our throats regardless of which party wins today.

[twerp]

Lou, look it up @ urbandictionary.com

[Lou Sussler]

Thank you Twerp, when we grew up, that was Nippleitis.

Potato Potahto

[Reno]

I was guessing Two Hard Ones but that's obviously not it.

[Sigh]

These are the bulk of the offender registries, along with teenagers havin a little fun with each other. Panic, panic, lock your kids in the closet!!

before jumping to conclusions here about how the police are uptight, and overzealous to prosecute freedom-loving Americans... you may want to consider the fact that the police may have only arrested people with boners and dripping pussies.

[Mikey]

Well, I always love a good nipple chat! But back o the topic.

As we, as a society are finding out, overzealously enforcing the "sex offender" registration scheme results in nothing but a system overloaded with those innocent of child molestation, the group we originally wanted to keep track of. So that we can't see the perverts for the public urinators. (I know; not a real word.)

Thankfully, I've read that the states who've gone most overboard are taking action... to some extent. But, Colorado has been negelcted as a seriously f_cked up state in this forum, when it has some pretty flaky reputations. (Not to insult all of those who live there. Every state in the union has its share of bad reputations, yet every one has its fair share of reasonable and rational people.) Still, if you live in CO, and are a member in good standing of this forum, I'd would appreciate if you would opine on this. Personally, I've never been there, but would love to visit. I can only speak on knowledge of certain runors. Such as lots of tree-hugging, or bible thumping, or new age fantasy living, or whatever freakazoids who tend to migrate to any place touted as a utopia... such as the beutiful State of Colorado. (I've seen the pictures, so I can see why people flock there.) SO! Colorodons, please?

The idiocy of the sex offender issue aside though, (And does this need saying?). Future Streakers of Amerika, (and others who would be scofflaws of stupid laws...) Take note! Before practicing what you may consider to be an innocent tea-party prank, please take the time to know what yon consequences may result, thereof. IOW, "SH*T, son! I have to bail you out of jail for showing your Swinging Richard, and now you'll never be able to get a job other than Richard slinging burgers, because you're a registered sex offender?" (I don't know. I was thinking about some of them having to call parents, because the bail was way high, and they couldn't afford it.)

And wait a minute! Scientists? What the hell does that moniker mean, anyway? Sorry, but that's a bull$hit title. Am I a scientist because I study the various methods of causing female multiple orgasms? If so, I now go by the name of Dr Mikey. I've focking earned it. Sorry... of subject.

My piont (intentional) is this: Never break a law just because that hasn't been prosecuted at certain times. And, if you do, know your consequences. The "violators" are as stupid as those who wrote the laws. If not more so.

Lessons for the day:

1: Do not run naked with pumpkin on head if your resultant reputation destroys your life.

2: Do something to change stupid laws in your state.

(Sorry for the typos, but I have friends to write. No time for prooffffing.)

[Sean. Torrington.]

The same state trying to define a fertilized egg as a human being.

[Displaced]

Argh. Sex offender registries should be for dangerous types only. No one checks them to find out whether someone streaked in college.

[Grace]

With Sean. Torrington's input, this story & the comments gave me two more out of dozens of reasons to never, ever move to Colorado.

[outofsalt]

I think they were off their gourde to have done their streaking routine. I'm also on board with them facing consequences for disorderly conduct.

Still, even I think this is going a bit too far. Once you start categorizing everything under the sun (or the moon) as a sexual offense, the registry and the label will have no meaning.

[ReginaFilangee]

Reading ridiculosity such as this makes me weep for the future of our society.

And yes, I know that ridiculosity isn't a word, but it makes me feel better to make up words like that when I'm grieving for humanity in general. So there.

[Chris]

Yea another small piece of American history destroyed by uptight people...

[zombie00x]

Of course they should be registered as sex offenders. If a little girl saw a penis, she would immediately be transformed in to a whore and start cutting 2nd grade math to hunt for the cack.
The human body is evil. The Good Lord made us all like the original Ken and Barbie dolls... the Devil added genitals. Just for reading this mention of genitals you all owe 35 Hail Mary's or you're going straight to hell.

[Mikey]

Thank you, Regina!

[RockyMtnMac]

Mikey
I live in Colorado, and as a citizen, can honestly say we are working hard to earn the status as a seriousely F$#%'d up state. Leading the charge for us is The Peoples Republic of Boulder.
Boulder has long been a joke for people in this state, but it took the Jon-Benet Ramsey case to launch Boulder to a national spotlight of F$*#up-itude. Currently Boulder has been working on making dog owners "guardians" rather than "owners", as this is offensive to the dogs.
I hope you will stay tuned to future postings here on our great state of Colorfornia. I will try to update you.

[DS]

On the plus side, they'll never have to hand out candy on Halloween.