Cops bust woman in cow suit who was peeing on a porch

Police say Michelle Allen, 32, chased children while wearing the cow costume and then urinated on a neighbor's front porch. They couldn't explain why Allen was wearing a cow suit, but she is known in her community for different incidents, including once standing outside the police station with a fishing pole, fishing the front lawn. (WLWT.com)

Comments

[troschne]

Man--that's some pretty good crazy. Thank God there was a pic. That costume is classic!!

[jj]

I can't believe the republicans were able to twist this story about Sarah Palin wearing a moose costume to hide from Katie Couric into a story about some other woman wearing a cow costume.

[elchampino]

Mom?

[well crap, someone had to say it]

[G-Man]

Are you sure that's not a cow in a cow suit?

[Wolf]

The officer's report stated that Allen was verbally abusive on the trip to jail

MAD COW! MAD COW!!!

and smelled of alcohol.

Do ya think?

[Reno]

If I'm reading this correctly, she peed on the porch and was then warned to go home and stay there? WTF?

[twerp]

what a cow!

[cherie]

Either alot of alcohol or she's mixing her self medication because my friends have been pretty damn drunk but they've never fished on the lawn and never chased kids in a cow suit before.

[troschne]

LMAO @ Wolf!

[troschne]

I know Reno, that didn't make sense to me, either. They sent her home, but then arrested her later?

Another thing that doesn't make sense--how did she pee on the porch in that costume?

[Reno]

Hmm, maybe she peed through the costume?

[troschne]

LOL, Reno! I could have gone all day without thinking about that. Now I'm going to be imagining what a pee-soaked cow suit smells like!

[Wolf]

I'm so glad they ran the pic.

That jaunty little hat just completes the look.

[troschne]

It was the udders for me, Wolf.

[angrysockmonkey]

thats a good plan, but the cops didnt bite off on it.

thinking she can get away with urinating on the porch disguised as a cow.

she lucky they didnt take her to the butcher shop where she would have ended up on our dinner tables

just sy no to little fat kids

[angrysockmonkey]

thats a good plan, but the cops didnt bite off on it.

thinking she can get away with urinating on the porch disguised as a cow.

she lucky they didnt take her to the butcher shop where she would have ended up on our dinner tables

just sy no to little fat kids

[G-Man]

Maybe she had a catheter inside the costume and peed through one of the udders.

[Wolf]

I'll be passing around the brain bleach starting at 3 EST. Line forms here.

[Dale]

If the suit fits, wear it!

[Kelly]

This story is udder nonsense!

[Anna]

Elsie, get back to the barn!
Farmer Bob must've left the barn door open!

[themom0925]

I find this whole situation udderly ridiculous!

[CSG]

She is a supporter of PETA and was protesting the roast beef those people were having for dinner!

[Phranqlin]

Thanks, Wolf! I surely do need a shot of brain bleach ... make that a double.

Where's the beef?!?!

[thomas]

Happy cows make happy pees.

[Anna]

Perhaps she was trying to further Peta's request to Ben & Jerry to use human milk instead of cow's milk??
Now that's udderly disgusting!

[sb]

heiffers raise their tail to pee.

COWS PEE WHEREVER THEY HAPPEN TO BE AND SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS A COW.

[twerp]

At least she was wearing something. Too many nudies going around.

[David]

If the costume fits...

So, on the same page there was follow-up to the morgue worker that had sex with the corpse - 18 months in jail for the sex and 18 months on an unrelated parole violation.

[troschne]

I saw that too, David. These stories are from Middletown, OH. The family tree doesn't fork very wide there. I used to work near there, and a lot of people who worked in the warehouse at that company were from there--some real winners, those people!

[JB]

The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit.

Oh please, I would love to hear the reasoning that someone could come up with for this, like she's bat-shit crazy. Maybe alcohol was involved as a side.

I bet the first cop didn't want to arrest her because he noticed that she had peed on herself (and would in his car) which he has to clean. That guy should get a slap on the wrist for thinking of his car before the general safety of the neighborhood.

[David]

Maybe she was reenacting Nursie from the Elizibethan era Black Adder.

"My Lady, Ludwig was a master of disguise, whereas Nursie is a
sad, insane old woman with a udder fixation."

[steveO]

JB,
When was the neighborhood not safe? Hose off the porch and have a beer and a laugh with the rest of the block. She is bringing the community together and gets arrested for it.

[Charles Brobst]

Ben and Jerry could milk her.

[A.V.]

She's made of root beer and ice cream.

She's a black cow.

[Bloody Mary]

Now *this* is why I check Obscure Store at least twelve times a day. Classic!

[ReginaFilangee]

She peed on the porch because she cud.

But I think some of you people are just milking this story for the bad puns.

[Unknown Quantity]

Man, this story is a Dick Tater rant in the making. I miss Tater. Frankly, we all need our daily dose of Dick. I can only hope he's frolicking in the woods somewhere, stalking housecats and proselytizing to dog owners about the evils of canines. And, from his past posts, he's bearded, nude and unwashed while doing so. Come back, Tater.

[troschne]

UQ--just get his e-mail address, if you miss him that much. I don't miss Dick Taster at all.

[Russ]

I can't believe this story has been out here this long and nobody has said:

Got Milk?

No Elsie jokes. No cow tipping jokes. Only one cud joke.

You guys are slipping.

ps: Now I have the imaginary smell of pee-soaked cow costume stuck in my mind.

[Russ]

I can't resist.

Mooooving violation.

Cereal killer.

Come home, Gary Larson, all is forgiven.

And there was an Elsie joke, I missed it because it was mixed in with a Farmer Bob joke.

[Old Bossy]

Dadgum it, now our secret plan has been exposed.

Our world domination plan was all laid out in a song. (see lyrics below)

COWS WITH GUNS
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun

They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be et at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will Frun free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said "enough is enough
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows out gunned

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

[troschne]

LMAO, Russ--there has to be a Chick Fil-A (sp?) joke in there somewhere, too, but I haven't had enough caffeine this morning to come up with one.

[twerp]

"She's made of root beer and ice cream.
She's a black cow."

Actually the correct slang for a root beer and ice cream is "brown cow."

A "black cow" is Cola and ice cream.

[panda]

Oddly enough I know that girl. She is fondly referred to as " Booger Michelle". trust me, you don't want to know that udderly ridiculous story.

[troschne]

panda--I do--if you don't want to share with the group, could you e-mail it to me?

[A.V.]

"Actually the correct slang for a root beer and ice cream is "brown cow."

A "black cow" is Cola and ice cream."

Do you know about "poetic license"?
It's a simple invention used in my case to make a joke.

[JB]

steveO,
She was chasing children around in the neighborhood and she was obviously ennebriated (sp). If it was your porch you might not be so inclined to "just hose it off".

But thats just how I roll. Maybe you have a higher tolerance level for women dressed up as cows. Maybe you live in a very entertaining neighborhood.

[lynn]

"eet mor chikin"

she does look quite happy in her jaunty little hat and suit,

but by the time the picture was taken, her udders, i mean bladder was empty.

oh dear --- i am addicted to this place.