I'm traveling this afternoon, but here's an OPEN THREAD...

I can't wait until airplanes have wi-fi... in the meantime, feel free to post stories that you like and want to discuss.

Comments

[LooseyGoosey]

I think it's incredibly cool to ride down the highway in our car and be online... doing so on an airplane would be even better. Of course ours isn't wifi, it's a phone card modem thingy. But still, highly cool to post a blog saying "My husband is driving 75 mph and I'm blogging..."

[Horton]

I wonder if blogging in the car would give me the same headache I get while reading in the car.

[Phranqlin]

Inevitably, there will be idiots who update their blogs while driving.

"I'm driving 75 mph while bloggi-"

[NitroPress]

I like to think I would have seen this here first if it were an active posting day:

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN2319603620080423

[Farmer Bob]

Here are more candidates for sterilization. Parents starve their own kid then sue the state for $22 mil.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/360447_dshs25.html

[Farmer Bob]

More candidates for sterilization, one too late. Son rapes his 50 year old mother:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6420ap_wa_mother_attacked.html

[buddy]

Farmer Bob - the parents aren't suing, it is a lawyer on the behalf of the child.

[AngrySockMonkey]

do people who work in coffe mills have problems sleeping?

do people working in salt mines suffer from high blood pressure?

when a fidh eats another fish, does he think he is eating sushi?

this is endless.....................

[Farmer Bob]

Stabbed over loud TV, needs to be sterilized.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/360576_model25.html

[Cherie]

I thought some of the airlines were providing that service now? Maybe not. I'm wondering whats going to happen to Northwest now that they've been taken over by Delta. I normally fly NW because Detroit is one of their main hubs and I can get direct flights about anywhere, I'm concerned their service is going to tank.

[Farmer Bob]

Correction: More candidates for sterilization. Parents starve kid, lawyers sue state for $22 mil.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/360447_dshs25.html

[oldewave]

ok nitro that made me cringe...

[AngrySockMonkey]

now i knew there was a reason why i did this .

we can now sport our blue ribbons for prostate cancer awareness. prevent prostate cancer ...masturbate

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,352278,00.html?sPage=fnc/health/sexualhealth

[JJ]

Doubt NW service is going to tank Cherie...but I suspect Delta will boost prices with one less competitor.

[boynamedsue]

Heres an awesome shirt. I am not involved in the creation or profits of it:
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=CG-FCA&Category_Code=CG

Heres an awesome book, that if you buy it, I get money.

http://braineaterbooks.com/

[Mo]

There are a few gems out there today...here are a couple for now:

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iWoVnnEregj9A3oK5s642tDtphMwD908DM4G0

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=6378018&version=4&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1

[Neni]

I'm going to share a personal airplane story: A few years back, my parents, and my then boyfriend and I were flying out to visit my sister in Arizona. We check in and everything and we're on the plane all settled in. The girl who was sitting in front of me realizes that she forgot her wallet at the check in counter so gets off to go get it. She comes back and a few minutes later, security and airport police get on the plane and escort her off. As it turns out, after she got her wallet, she bypassed the security checkpoint and went straight to the gate and back on the plane. Her rationale: "I just forgot my wallet! I already went through security checkpoint!" HELLO!!!! As a result of this, every single passenger had to get off the plane with their luggage and go BACK through security again, thus making the flight uber late since it was a full plane.

[jojo]

OK, someone should have the tiny peckered guys in Africa to masterbate. They will see that even small packages can still work, and they can prevent cancer...Win/Win. Then the mother rapist and the seizure robber should be sent over there and introduced to the witchdoctors who can eliminate their packages. Maybe the "top model" fan can help....Geez, where do these strange folks come from??

[neni]

Neni-----

There are idiots on both sides of the security staion. this didn't happen at an airport but at the courthouse in Victorville, CA.

I went thru security, putting my keys, phone, pens and file folders in a bin for the conveyor belt and walked thru the metal detector. As one Goober was checking me with the wand to see what set off the buzzer, the other Goober noticed I had a camera in my cell phone and needed to return it to my car as they were prohibited in the building.

I gathered my things, stored the phone in my car and came back to the entrance. They waived me right on through in spite of the buzzing because I had just been checked 5 minutes ago.

[Sean, Torrington CT]

I'd be more worried that our security theater let her just walk back on to the plane in the first place!

[A.V.]

Good time for this.
A priest, a pentecostal minister, and a rabbi would get together twice a week for coffee to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
>
>Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
>
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
>
>They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

[Sheila]

Good one, A. V. Thanks.

[Cherie]

In regards to the Airport Security thing... someone should've had the good sense to provide her with an escort to avoid that type of stupidity (from both parties)

[anonymouse]

Parents can't handle a frank letter written on school letterhead: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0424081prom1.html

[Charles Brobst]

In an interview with the New York Times late Thursday, House Majority Whip James Clyburn called the former president's conduct "bizarre,"

Bubba bizarre? So what else is new?

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/24/black-congressman-denounces-b-clintons-remarks/index.html?scp=1&sq=james%20clyburn&st=cse

[Horton]

Letter goes out to parents encouraging them to allow their prom-going kids to drink.

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/news/stories/2008/04/25/PROM_PRANK.html

They were thoughtful enough to also include a condom in the mailing.

It's a lame prank. They could take a page from the banana incident.

[Charles Brobst]

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/24/black-con
gressman-denounces-b-clin
tons-remarks/index.html?scp=1&sq=james%20clyburn&st=cse

I broke up the URL into three lines to make it fit on here.

[twerp]

I have bipolar disorder. It sucks.

I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather just stay depressed all the time than have a manic episode and after the manic episode fall into an even deeper depression because I feel guilty and embarassed for stupid stuff I did/said during the manic episode. It's as if, no matter how hard I try, I can't keep myself from messing up.

I often feel suicidal after a manic episode because I think the world would be better off without me. The only thing keeping me alive today is the love I have for and from my family because I know how sad they'd be without me. Even so, I can't help but wonder if their lives would be better without me somehow.

sadness....guilt....embarassment....shame....

People with bipolar disorder need to feel loved. I know because it's what I need right now.

[Lou Ford Prefect]

Sprint Air cards! Expensive (IMO) but neato for nearly constant connections. Is this what you use LooseyGoosey? Or something similar I guess.

[David]

Big Hug to Twerp!

[angrysockmonkey]

have a good weekend everyone !!!

[A.V.]

The Alabama preacher said to his congregation,"Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This Is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

[A.V.]

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, "You are the woman of my life. I love you." Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?

[LooseyGoosey]

Lou Ford Prefect: We have T-Mobile, so it's a card through their service. Beyond that I do not know, I'm a Geek Groupie, not a Geek.

Twerp: You're loved here, at least by me. I love seeing your name pop up among the comments. I'm glad you're here, you're one of the regulars that keeps me in the comment section.

[pawprints]

Dear Twerp,
I have bi-polar, too, though I prefer the old manic-depressive disorder label; it is so much more descriptive. I does suck. I love you.
Pawprints

[nellagain]

Turmoil in India!
Over scantily clad cheerleaders at CRICKET games.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7366516.stm

[nellagain]

Sweden has decided not to ban sexist advertising, saying it would risk undermining the country's cherished right to freedom of speech.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7365722.stm

Includes great quote
"Naked people are wonderful, of course, but they have to be relevant to the product." Sol Olving

[lawdog]

Twerp: We all love you here! )hugs(

[lawdog]

A.V. darlin, you always crack me up.
I'm glad I read your most recent post past regular workhours because I was roaring with laughter!
Thanks for the laugh, I had a awful (and rainy) Friday!

[fermata]

video of previous OSRR story: Drunk Darth Vader attacking Jedi w/crutch
http://gizmodo.com/384164/actual-video-of-drunk-darth-vader-attacking-jedi

[Janky-o]

Hasn't anybody here heard of tinyurl.com http://tinyurl.com/u
I mean, I can see a few people including the whole big links, but it seems like EVERYBODY...

I can tell you, it's just dandy to feel so smug.

[Charles Brobst]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/25/bigamistl.slaing.ap/index.html

NORRISTOWN, Pennsylvania -- A woman pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder for killing her bigamist husband just hours before he was to leave for Morocco to visit his second wife.

Myra Morton, 48, was upset about the new marriage and her husband's plans to have children with the younger woman, authorities have said. She shot her 47-year-old husband, Jereleigh Morton, twice in the head in August while he slept, and initially blamed an intruder.

She said, "That was big of me." All right it was Groucho who said that but she SHOULD have!

[LooseyGoosey]

Janky-o... actually http://metamark.net/ is better. You can register and it saves what you've shortened. You can also do nicknames so your URLs are rememberably.

LG
(smugger than thou)

[Sheila]

Twerp, my best wishes to you. I hope you have a good doctor.

[steveO]

twerp, you have me hugs, too. We better see you Monday so I can give you another.

[Jim Anderson]

Charles Brobst (and others)--no need to work so hard to make a link fit. Use TinyURL.

[Axel Carmen]

Having viewed the lame comments this site generates, I now understand why it takes a professional to make this site interesting and relevant.

[Neni]

I think most of the comments on here are pretty funny. Axel, a simple solution would be to not read the comments.

[A.V.]

lawdoggie,
Did you get my email?

[Sean, Torrington CT]

Blogging is not a profession. Blogging is just some goober spouting off on the internet, who otherwise couldn't have done so due to a lack of basic computer skills.