A neighbor videotaped Art Price, Jr., 40, go out on his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex. He allegedly was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, says a cop, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price. (WTOL.com)
Friday, March 28, 2008
I think someone told him it felt like warm apple pie.....
Posted by: jestah | Friday, March 28, 2008 at 07:03 PM
'Yogi, I don't think the ranger's going to like what you're doing to his picnic table!'
Posted by: PassingThrough | Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 05:34 AM
I can just see the umbrella opening and closing with each thrust...ugh
Posted by: pawprints | Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 03:59 PM
I like smaller pert breasts butt, that table was just plain flat.
Posted by: A.V. | Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 09:08 AM
The natural question here is are you cheating on your wife if you have three romps with a picnic table?
Posted by: Oaktown | Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 11:07 AM
As we have read on this comment board, this type of story can really get the imagination 'juices' flowing! I agree with the police....once you think you've heard it all...along comes this! I am sure no children viewed this other than the pervert video-taping it...Did he make copies to sell on E-bay? Hey! Porno-site, take note....umbrellas holes in picnic tables could put you out of business. And to think...he thought he was in the privacy of his own own! ha!
Posted by: Ann | Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 03:40 PM
What'd he use for lube? WD40? Sheezus.
Posted by: JimmyVa | Monday, March 31, 2008 at 05:40 AM
Pyro - That was funny as sh*t man!!!
Posted by: JimmyVa | Monday, March 31, 2008 at 05:41 AM
Reminds me of an old Dice Clay joke about sticking his jr in anything in teh house....it went something like his mother saying "Andrew, you can't go out with your friends, we have company coming over and we're having a big ham"....his response "aye, yo, I already had it".
Posted by: jj | Monday, March 31, 2008 at 09:33 AM
Let me just say that those of you who don't frequent FARK dot com should check out the comment thread on that site for this article.
I had tears streaming down my face from some of the comments; here's a sampling of my favorites
Who's your umbrella! Who's your umbrella!
The worst part - he made the chairs watch.
Posted by: the dude | Monday, March 31, 2008 at 12:20 PM
That's one horny dude
Posted by: SC | Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 06:55 PM
i think he sould not did that because kids could have seen him having sex remix hey can you put that uperella pole up my vagina
Posted by: ashley | Sunday, October 12, 2008 at 04:43 PM
sex sex sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love to have sex and i am 10
Posted by: | Sunday, October 12, 2008 at 04:45 PM
dude this is the best story ever
Posted by: | Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 01:00 PM
lmfao @ yucca!
been watching a little too much pablo francisco???
Posted by: hank | Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 09:50 AM
LMAO! 3 YEARS LATER AND I'M STILL LMAO!!
Posted by: twerp | Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 01:58 PM
This is great. What I love is the comments from people who used to frequent this site and don't anymore (that we're aware of.) I'd forgotten about Yucca, JimmyVa, ULTRA, Pyro,jestah etc.
I'm really gonna miss this.
Posted by: kevy | Monday, August 29, 2011 at 07:30 AM
ULTRA was great. Always ALL CAPS--I can't believe how many people get POed about all caps.
I miss all those old people too.
Posted by: twerp | Monday, August 29, 2011 at 07:40 AM
Unfortunately, my enterprising offering of "picnic tables for perverts" was met with less than enthusiastic results. It seems thet the marketing execs of the major distributors of picnic tables didn't want to advertise umbrella holes for various penis sizes.
Obviously one of my favorite stories. I'm really going to miss this shit!
Posted by: Rock Marine | Monday, August 29, 2011 at 07:52 AM