Obscure Store and Reading Room

From 2001: Man, 80, drives to funeral home and dies in parking lot

I ran this story a decade ago: Sylvia Saber got up one morning and noticed her husband gone wasn't in their condo. He was later found slumped over the wheel of his 1991 Olds Delta 88 in the parking lot of Bernheim-Apter-Goldsticker Suburban Funeral Home. A family member told police that Saber once once said that he would drive himself to the funeral home "when it was his time." || Read the Obscure Store stories from 11/9/2001 (Wait a second for two for The Wayback Machine to jump to OS.)

We learned over the years that lots of guys are "intimate" with animals

Horses, pigs, dogs, chickens ... you name it, and it's been posted here! In this March 29, 2001, story a 33-year-old man videotaped his sexcapade with a male beagle. The tape was found by police who were at the home looking for drugs.

From 2001: Another great excuse for committing a crime

My line-up of items from Jan. 31, 2001 included this story: "Trucker: I used kiddie porn to stay awake at the wheel." Here's the summary I wrote:

Dana Turner says he kept child pornography because it made him so angry that he couldn't fall asleep while driving. Try to pitch that defense to a jury, sir. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

The perv beat has been an unending source of amusement

On May 10, 2000, I posted this story about a man who duped several women into taking part in phony sex research. He paid them $10 an hour to study the changes in a woman's body after orgasm. He also offered them alcohol to relax. || Check out what was on Obscure Store on May 10, 2000. (You have to wait a second or two for the Wayback Machine to jump to the old page.)

Stories about drive-thru antics? I've posted a million of them!

Well, several dozen at least. My summary of this story from March 10, 2000, says astonished fast-food workers were stunned to see the car whisk in reverse. Deputies couldn't conduct a field sobriety test because the suspect couldn't stand up without falling over. || ALSO ON THAT DAY: I posted a story about the shocking truth about theater hot dogs.

From 2000: Beaver College - the butt of jokes - mulls name change

This 11-year-old story pointed out that many filters were blocking the word "beaver," preventing prospective students and their parents from getting information on the school. One freshman woman told the newspaper that her friends back home laugh at the name, but "they always want me to get them a Beaver College T-shirt." (The name was eventually changed.)

If I had a buck for every really-young-kid-steals-car story I posted!

I could have semi-retired much earlier! This is from the October 8, 1999 Obscure Store (wait for a second for Wayback Machine to jump to the page):

Girl, 12, spends 50 cents on gas and steals car
Cops say the girl took a neighbor's 1992 Chevy, gassed it up with two quarters, and headed to school -- although she had never driven before. On the road, a teacher passed the young driver, but failed to recognize her. The sixth-grader was nabbed after showing up late for school, explaining she had to stop at the gas station.

From 1999: Catholic newspaper stops taking ads that thank saints

The goofiness of many religious practices -- and the hypocrisy of religious institutions and their members -- has been a frequent theme here. This Cincinnati Post story from March 10, 1999 says the ads would typically give thanks to a particular saint for answering a prayer, duplicate the prayer and encourage people to use the same prayer - often with the inducement "never been known to fail."

I've been posting homeowners association disputes from the start

You might remember the one from 2006 involving a woman who put up a peace-sign wreath and was slapped with a $25/day fine from the homeowners association. In 1999, I posted a story about a woman who dared to paint her house purple. About 145 home owners agreed to pay up to $43,500 for a lawyer to force her to change the color.

The great Toronto sexcapade scandal of 1999

People still remember the 2008 incident in which a man was caught trying to get off with a picnic table umbrella, but equally bizarre was a 1999 Obscure Store report headlined: "Man linked to imaginative sexplay." My summary on the item: "He's charged with doing it with a chain fence. Toronto police say the 25-year-old's lucky that parts of him didn't freeze." The link to the original story is dead, but I see that a Jon Stewart report on the incident is still online. (Love Jon's hair from those days!)