"World's best essay-writer" guarantees a "B" or your money back

A guy who sells essays to students says: "Sure it's unethical, but it's just a business. I mean, what about strip clubs or porn shops? Those are unethical, and city-approved." (City Pages)

Comments

[Drake Timbershaft]

Not to approve of this guy's business model, but I've always found essays at the high school and college levels absolute bs, graded largely on the whims of the teacher.

I had a teacher in high school named Billy Beal, and Billy's grading scheme was as follows: A+ - an A+ is perfect, and only god is perfect, therefore only god can get an A+. An A - no one is that close to god. A B+ - only I'm that close to god. A B - no one is that close to me. So the absolutely highest grade you could get in Billy Beal's class was a B-. Nice.

[Tom Weidermeijer]

Next maybe he will sell his clean urine for whiz-quizzes.

[Boba Fett]

Yeah, grading in some classes in high school is rather starnge. I had a physics teacher who graded on a sliding scale. Unfortunately for me I had no less than five honor students in a class of 15. I was an average student. So I most often times got a C at best. I remember the time I got a 95 on a paper. It was a D+. Everyone else in the class aced it....bummer for me...

[Phranqlin]

Christ, how hard can it be to write an essay for a community college class? All you need is the basic 5-part theme (which you COULD have learned in English class if you didn't spend the entire time texting the hot dude/chick in the next row):

1. Introduction to topic.

2. Point 1 of topic

3. Point 2 of topic

4. Point 3 of topic

5. Conclusion (regurgitate previous three points and intro)

That will be $23, payable to Professor Phranqlin's Plagiarism Prevention Panel.

[Dances With Books]

This story is certainly not new. If I recall, there was another similar story in either Inside Higher Ed or The Chronicle of Higher Ed. Similar set up: guy gets paid to write essays. And he did pretty well. Unethical? Absolutely, but I will admit that even I, given the bad economy, have pondered the notion of writing (if you can call it that) for pay. (Don't worry folks, I have resisted the temptation so far). And by the way, to keep the ball rolling, consider this. The April 4th, 2010 Chronicle of Higher Ed. had a story on outsourcing the grading overseas in higher ed. (see http://bit.ly/d8uCJf). So, imagine the irony of outsourcing the grading of an "outsourced" essay.

And then people wonder why so many have a poor view of higher education.

[sisterblonde]

What a moron.. the guy's business smart but from reading his own writing, you can tell HE wasn't one of the writers!

[oldewave]

@ Phranqlin: don't forget-- the proper use of a semicolon in the first paragraph is ALWAYS good for a few extra points in the grade...

[oldewave]

@ Phranqlin: don't forget-- the proper use of a semicolon in the first paragraph is ALWAYS good for a few extra points in the grade...

[dru]

I had a HS English teacher who used the mug scale: if she liked your mug, you got a good grade, and if you didn't, buena suerte. It's funny how all the students who [i]supposedly[/i] wrote so much better than me wound up in my dust on impartially graded papers.

I have to thank the crabby, thin-butted itch, though. If she hadn't been such a PITA, there might have been another English major in this world.

[Krash]

Hey Dances...THAT would be ME. My low opinion of tertiary ed stems NOT merely from the points you raised, but from the chaos that results from the careers of many multi-degreed individuals. The wreck of the domestic auto industry and the finance debacle to start with...and add the BP fiasco for good measure. It took alot of well-educated people to screw-up that bad.

[Krash]

WOW! Read the article, I AM DISGUSTED!
What a douche bag!
Yo, Farmer Bob, he's still young, Do your thing.
Include his father, retroactively, too.

[Sheila]

Mr. Mannix needs some help, too. He doesn't seem to know the different between "cohesive" and "coherent."

@Boba Fett: Your physics teacher was crazy.

@Krash: So true.

[Lori]

I had a thing for my friends in college where if they would do the research and take the notes on those stupid note cards, I would go over it with them and help them produce their outline and then I would write their research paper. Proper grammar guaranteed. Proper spelling would be up to whomever they got to type the paper. It worked out fine. Until a friend wanted me to write their take-home essay final in one of their classes. They wouldn't speak to me for almost a week.

[johnjohn]

Turnitin.com solves the problems.

[icecycle]

@Phranqlin

Add five pages of reference to a three page paper and you have the perfect A. And supposedly the first one the man had ever handed out.
(This was back when typewriters were used and the paper was an environmental hazard from the whiteout alone.)
My wife read this one and said it was gobbledygook and I agreed; but it was on topic gobbledygook and better than the rest of the class.

[fiddler]

This is a little off the subject but... I had a class in college called Marriage and the family. The teacher asked for a paper detailing our sexual experiences and students quickly learned that the more sensational the essay, the better the grade. Everyone made crap up. By the way, attractive young female coeds with titillating papers always got the A's and were often seen walking across campus on the arm of this teacher.

[A Pile of Pooh]

Another scam artist. This sort of disgusting individual is one of the prices we pay for civilization. They should be marginalized, laughed at, and -- whenever possible -- thrown under the jailhouse. Permanently.

[whatthe?]

".....Mr. Mannix needs some help, too. He doesn't seem to know the different between "cohesive" and "coherent."..."

Um, isn't that a Country act? oh.....that's Coheed and Cambria......nevermind

[whatthe?]

".....Mr. Mannix needs some help, too. He doesn't seem to know the different between "cohesive" and "coherent."..."

Um, isn't that a Country act? oh.....that's Coheed and Cambria......nevermind

[Farmer Bob and the City]

Sterilize him.

[Farmer Bob and the City]

Sterilize him.

[sunglasses]

Get the money back! That's it! If the book isn't good