"Hey, come back here with that urine-filled tube device!"

A man found with a urine-filled "tube device" under his armpit during a urine test at a probation and parole facility is facing charges after running from officials and being tackled. (TCPalm.com)

Comments

[twerp]

Back when I administered drugscreens I once witnessed a guy "go off" when the pee he scored from a friend resulted in a positive drug screen. Apparently he held the tube in his butt for several hours...

[elchampino]

Wonder what he thought would show up on the test. Those things pretty much only test for THC anyway - everything clears out after a few days.

[Bill]

The article was vague. Was it a genric urine-filled tube-device, or was it THE WHIZZINATOR brand-named apparatus?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whizzinator

[G-Man]

Thank goodness he didn't get that straw confused with the one from the beer hat on his head.

elchamp - I thought those tests cover a lot of drugs and that some drugs can stay in your system for a month.

[Bill]

I can imagine the police chief from Kalama, Illinois (see other story) holding a press conference just to announce that making sue the test was honest was a "number one" priority.

[Torgo]

I bet it was just chicken wing sauce.

[Drake Timbershaft]

Jim - Best story clipart EVER.

[NitroPress]

What is with this guy's forehead? He looks like he's turning into a Klingon.

[twerp]

Wouldn't "vial" be a better a better term? Call me crazy....

[Phranqlin]

A Klingon? No wonder he was circling Uranus with a urine-filled tube.

[Jim Romenesko]

So-so stories need great clipart.

[Mook]

"Uh, THIS urine-filled tube? Oh, I carry that around with me all the time..."

I was a urinalysis monitor for a few years in the in the military. this is not surprising

[elchampino]

From my understanding, the only thing that will stay in your system for a month, at least the only thing that will show up on your standard piss test, is THC.

Coke will be in your system three or four days, other drugs even less. Alcohol not at all. Shrooms might not show up either. One use of ganja, however, could possibly show up weeks later, even up to a month. Meaning you could drunk drive through a pre-school and pass the test a few hours later fine; but if you toked up last weekend you're screwed.

Of course all this is up to potency, frequency of use, and perhaps most importantly, the metabolism of the test subject. Stuff will stay with somebody with a high body fat and slow metabolism a lot longer than a skinny person with a fast metabolism.

Then there's hydration - you can theoretically beat the test (at least if all you're doing is ganja) if you super hydrate yourself in the hours leading up to the test. Tests look for that too, though - they test things like color, creatine levels and specific gravity, and if your specimen comes back dilluted, they'll either automatically assume you were cheating and fail you automatically or make you retest. But that's what vitimin B, creatine supplament and gatorade are for. Or so I've heard.

[Mathman]

elchampino, I had that happen once, having too much hydration. I had to take a drug test for a part time summer job for the city I lived in, and I didn't want to worry about not being able to supply a sample, so I drank a lot of water before going it. Unfortunately, what came out was too much like water. The normal procedure was for me to stay until I could go again, but all they could give me was water. Fortunately, since I had worked in this job for several summers prior to this one, my supervisor gave them the ok to let me go and come back later.

[A.V.]

Phranko,
What would he klingon to?

[elchampino]

Don't even get me started on the stupidity of the test, Mathman. Glad things turned out ok for you, though.

love that he tried to run IN the office

[Kelly]

elchampino - you are right about coke, meth, alcohol, etc... There is a common misconception about marijuana in regard to drug tests though. While it's true that it stores in your fat cells and as you metabolize your fat, it continues to release, it won't show on a urine test for a full month.

Actually, even for frequent users, it will only show for 2 weeks. This is because of the cut off amounts for THC in urine testing. For casual users, it's usually gone out of your pee in about 5 days. Heavy/chronic users in 10-14 days.

Now, I wouldn't gamble a job offer on this, but that's how it usually works. I HAVE heard of heavy people going on a diet and showing positive tests several months later as their fat cells release into their blood streams, but it's not a normal thing.

AND, druggies that have to test for probation/CPS/parole typically have a problem to the extent that they can't not use. My drug testers have to call me every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to ASK if they have to test. They never know if their going to have 3 days to get the meth out of their pee.

[RockyMtnMac]

My cousin owns her own business doing mobile UA's. She said the white stuff is out of your system around 72 hours with a lot of water. The green stuff is accumulative. The tests they currently have are nearly impossible to beat. And there is no certain rule because of the variables like Elchampino said (weight, metabolism,frequency, etc). Hair samples, however, will turn up EVERYTHING you've ever done wrong, things you've only thought about, and then some...
The 100% way to get through one of the tests is to not have anything they are looking for in your system. Period.

[troschne]

Man--what a pisser! Is that Skreetch from "Saved By the Bell"?

[Dick C. Normas]

See the book "Ur-Ine Trouble by Kent Holtorf M.D."

Here you can find out all the problems with drug tests.

[elchampino]

Kelly - the 10-14 day thing sounds a little light to me... as you said, I certainly wouldn't gamble a job on it. A 'good friend of mine', who was using 3-4 days a week for several months quit and still tested positive on a home test kit 14 days later... they didn't get a clean reading til about the 20 day mark, and that was after rigorous exercise and eating several smaller meals a day the entire time to speed up their metabolism. Then again, this guy does happen to fall into the jiggly (but jolly!) category. You're probably right though, that a non-user or rare-user who smoked once would almost certainly come out clean 14 days later.

Bottom line though - if you even have the inkling you may be tested, if you're entering the job market but don't even have an interview lined up yet... the best way to pass a drug test is to not do drugs.

At least until after the test is done ;)

[MONKEY JERK]

TRYING TO FAKE THE PEE TEST

[elchampino]

Whatever the window is (10 days, 14 days, a full month) I guess the main issue with the test is it's testing what you've been on, not what you're currently on. If they want to test if an employee is on the job while they are drunk, stoned, whatever, then I completely agree with that. If you show up to work high, you're a jackass and you should be fired; and if you show up to work high and you're a doctor, pilot, bus driver, etc, then you should treated as harshly as if you'd show up to work drunk. But it just seems strange for them to be basically be monitoring your out-of-office activities.

It's also weird that we as a society are ok with this kind of personal invasion of privacy. Lots of folks seem fine with the notion of giving their employer access to their bodily fluids; but how many would be comfortable with that same employer randomly searching their home, car, and personal items for evidence of illegal doings?

[Kelly]

Pre-employment drug screening is often referred to as as 'intellegence test' (are you stupid enough to do drugs KNOWING that you will be tested? They have to post it on the job announcement, so if you are that stupid, they won't hire you).

The information I cited is from our drug testing lab. Many of others that I've looked into say the same things about time-frames - we sometimes need to know this stuff to testify in court. I think that the timeframes they provide us may be what they guarentee, but as you said (elchampo), everyone's metabolism is different.

Funny - I was at a training on identifying illegal drugs and the police actually lit a joint. They did this so that if we ever have to testify that we smelled marijuana and the attorney asks how we know what marijuana smells like, we won't have to admit anything about our personal pasts. :) We didn't get to hit the joint though - bummer.

[Big Boss Man]

Drug testing is a practice instituted by the insurance companies that cover workmans comp. Because of the high incidence of recreational drug use among blue collar workers in this country it was a perfect sidestep of the company's responsibility to provide a safe workplace. Some companies will warn employees of upcoming 'surprise testing' so they can test negative, showing a drugfree workplace on record. Then when an employee is injured and tested he loses the job and is responsible for his medical treatment. Pretty sweet deal for the shareholders. Pretty sad that the fifth amendment protection against self incrimination has been rendered void in favor of profit margin. But since I own the company I make the rules. You dopehead turds.

[troschne]

It is WorkER's Comp, not WorkMAN's comp!!!!!! As an HR director, that is like fingers on a chalkboard to me. Learn it. Know it. Live it.