Floridians are warned against taking in frozen iguanas

A Florida cold spell has iguanas falling out of trees and appearing frozen and dead. They're not, though. "One sweet lady called because she was so worried after seeing an iguana fall out of her tree," says a veterinarian. "We told her not to take it into the house. It was a big one, maybe 5 feet. But you know how people are. When it woke up, she couldn't understand why it seemed to be coming after her. She couldn't get it to leave." (Florida Keys Keynoter)

Comments

[sometimesilie]

but I thought that reptiles were warm and cuddly?! haven't you ever seen various cartoons?

[Dave]

Five feet long?! Christ, that's not an iguana. That's a freaking Komodo dragon:|

[Soo]

My kids wanted an iguana; said they looked like miniature dragons. I said that if they wanted a dragon so badly we could take in my grandma. They quit asking.

Taking in a hibernating iguana is about as smart as befriending a raccoon.

[Cherie]

I can't wait to move to Florida! In the midwest about the worst thing we have to deal with is a random coyote or a pissed off opossum.

[buddy]

run for the hills... the 13th plague is here.

[Dave]

What is Florida? Like, the land that time forgot or something?

[Dick Tater]

You know, Florida is full of dumbasses. First, they don't know how to use a butterfly ballot, and now they don't know what to do with five-foot lizards falling from the trees. You shoot them with a 12-gauge, not take them into your home. People can be so dumb.

[sometimesilie]

Taking in a hibernating iguana is about as smart as befriending a raccoon.
---

Befriending a raccoon, LOL!!!

[docray]

funny. in a wtf were you thinking sorta' way.

and people say evolution is dead

[Phranqlin]

Anyone know any good iguana recipes?

[Cherie]

Phranqlin...it seems like they're already frozen so how about Iguana Popcicles?

[Lou Sussler]

"Because they are non-native, and they eat valuable landscape plants, shrubs, trees, orchids and many other flowers, as well as undermine seawalls, sidewalks and foundations by burrowing."

Not a sentence.

[Soo]

Cherie, I don't know about you, but there is no way I'm gonna lick an iguana on a stick.

Unless perhaps it was dipped in chocolate. But I'd still think twice before I did it.

[Phranqlin]

I was thinking more along the lines of grilled chili-lime iguana. Iguanacicles sound intriguing, though.

[NellAgain]

Phranq

I just googled for iguana recipes and got 153,000 hits! The first screen was a mass of iguana stews, marinades, baked, fried, crockpotted, BARBEQUED etc. One well-documented site said "As a food source, the green iguana is also known as the "Bamboo Chicken"."

Now that I think about it, a few years ago there was some kind of animal cruelty protest about sewing iguana lips together in Central American meat markets.
Hmmmm

[jupiterjim]

I live north of palm beach and these things are a freaking pain in the butt. People buy them as pets not thinking that they grow from cute to huge in a matter of years. My neighbors kid had one and got head to toe lacerations trying to give it a bath. I knew of at least 5 people that got them as pets and had to get rid of them. When I asked if they took them to the animal shelter you never get a straight answer. I can tell you I have found them on my fence and on the seawalls by my home.

[A.V.]

Iguana shoot the next one that falls on me.

These assclowns remind me of the aww gee shucksers in Aussieland who feed the dingos and wonder why little children go missing.

[LooseyGoosey]

Iguana Pops, the newest rage in Medieval Faire food. Hey, they've got every other kind of meat on a stick at those things... is iguana period for the Middle Ages?

[NellAgain]

It also that iguanas can withstand a fall of 40 to 50 feet. So I'm thinking you'd probably *have* to shoot it. A broom handle or even a baseball bat, even wielded by an andrenalized primate, isn't going to have much effect.

This all is reminding me of my first encounter with a goana in the bottom of my grandparents garden. I was very young and it was VERY big and toilet training was never put to a severer test.

[lawdog]

Irresponsible owners - these creatures are alot of work and time. If you don't take proper care of them, they go crazy wild. I own an iguana that is 8 years old and about 5 1/2 feet long. (He was about 4 inches when we got him.) His favorite past time - climbing curtains and dive bombing unsuspecting visitors. My in-laws never "drop by" anymore.
Another reason not to touch them - the zillion little razor teeth that they have. Triangular shaped and serrated - they can inflict a serious bite!

[Phranqlin]

" ... is iguana period for the Middle Ages?"

Yes, if you're a medieval Maya, Inca or Aztec.

The article suggested gassing them to death with dry ice, which sounds a lot better than beating them to death with a baseball bat.

[Cherie]

dry ice...you might want to let it thaw a bit before licking it Pharn...you'd look pretty silly walking around with your tongue fused to an iguana on a stick

[Yall]

Most folks that live in Florida are not from Florida. Go figure.

[The_Overdog]

Maybe Mothra is spreading Godzilla's babies around the globe, so while Godzilla is gathering them up, Mothra can have the run of Tokyo!

[yucca]

Wall of Voodoo's song "Mexican Radio" Sings of BBQ'd iguana. Tastes like pollo

[Cherie]

GODRILLA!!!! OH NO!!! GODRILLAAAAA

[Sheila]

Florida needs to be rid of this imported invasive reptile. The litigious jail inmates want different food. Iguana au vin, Iguana tettrazini, Iguana Oscar, Iguana Wellington, Iguana rellenos.

[woodlawn]

One goal of my life is to stay away from Florida. So far so good.

[sometimesilie]

One goal of my life is to stay away from Florida. So far so good.

Posted by: woodlawn | Jan 7, 2008 2:43:52 PM
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LOL! Actually, I wondered why it took them so long to issue this warning. Knowing people as we all do, wouldn't you just automatically issue the warning in the same announcement that you made notifying the public about the frozen iguanas in the first place?

[yucca]

I like Iguana Asada. Or even Chili con Iguana.

[NellAgain]

Sheila: Cheers! A very workable suggestion. I heartily endorse your thinking on this matter.

Iguana Au Gratin?

[Bob]

Iguana etoufee, iguana kebabs, iguana stew, iguana jerky, buffalo iguana...

[CSG]

Iguanacicles!!

[yucca]

Iguana Cordon Bleu. Iguana,lettuce and tomatoe on rye.
Pickled iguana feet.

Great...now I'm hungry

[Keys guy]

Folks -- we are Florida. We are here to entertain you. You don't pay us enough.

[Sheila]

Iguana-jitas.

[the man in the trout mask]

Along sidewalks littered with stunned teachers,frozen mayors have sex with 14 year old iguanas while schoolboys wearing only bras and panties fall in droves out of trees and into parking lots.

Welcome to Florida.

[Soo]

Keys guy: I assume you're from the Keys vs mainland? If so, are the Keys really as silly as the mainland? Yeah, yeah, I know the islanders don't like to bail no matter how big the hurricane, even though they're completely surrounded by water, but still.

I always wanted to live on the Keys. I heard a saying once that only in the Keys could you honestly stop and catch your breath. Sounded good to me then, still sounds good now. But, if they're as silly as Florida, I dunno... It's like Wisconsin, but without the joy of obscene snowmen.

The concept of walking down the street , minding your own business and a frozen iguana falling out of a tree above you still has me a bit panic stricken...IS NO ONE ELSE AS FREAKED OUT AS I AM??????????????

[shiba]

See? I'm so traumatised, I forgot to sign my name...Frozen iguanas... that's just wrong!!!

[Keys guy]

Yup, from the Keys. What seems outrageous anywhere else is just another day here, really. That's why we love it. There's a saying: The Keys, where folks accused of being weirdos elsewhere can come and mingle with the real weirdos.

[Soo]

How long will an obscene snowman last in the winter down there? If I've got half a chance of finishing, I might just get myself drugged up* and get there.

*will need plenty of tranqs for the trip:
fear of standing water outside of pools
fear of falling (and therefore bridges)
get seasick quickly
can't swim anyway

[Keys guy]

Snowmen? We got no stinkin' snowmen. Only frozen iguanas. Though your fears of water and bridges, well, that might doom your trip right there.

[NellAgain]

Soo, I second Keys guy caveat--that last long leg over open water (especially surreal with the partly destroyed previous bridge in view) is not for the water or bridge wary.

Personally I loved it and would drive it again in a heart beat.

[Soo]

Mister has this Grand Vacation fantasy, the one in which he will (meaning I will) drive the entire length of America's great scenic byways. He says, let's start with the lowest number and work our way up from there. So he thinks it'll be a hoot to drive from the Keys to Maine. I told him to pick me up in Miami.

[yucca]

Soo
When you and Mister decide to travel,don't forget the area I'm from...It is beutiful up here.

[Soo]

We plan on hitting every single state, although we haven't quite worked out the logistics on getting to Hawaii.

I've stepped foot in 28 states, but actually site-seeing is another story.

[Keys guy]

In all seriousness, I welcome everyone to visit our great island chain. Just a spectacular place, first for our incredible natural environment and second for the live-and-let-live lifestyle where friendships are created instantly and third for the .... well, there is no third, really. Those two pretty much cover it. Carry on. And say hello to the guy or gal at the neighboring bar stool if you do visit. To not is bad etiquette.

[ReginaFilangee]

Okay, Keys guy....but we're all staying with you.

Next weekend is good for me.

[Keys guy]

No worries, the iguanas have thawed. My yard us safe ;)