Now you can confess your sins while shopping at the mall
Three Catholic priests have started hearing confessions at a mall in Colorado Springs., Colo. "Bless me, father, for I have sinned: I spent too much on bad clothes at the Gap." (Wall Street Journal)
Is that before or after the coveting and pilfering?
Posted by: debilsadvocado | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 07:31 AM
I don't think there is any forgiveness for shopping at Gap.
Posted by: Soo | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 08:01 AM
the celibate men in dresses should include parking validation, and a Get Out of Macy's Free card.
moneylenders in the temple.
Posted by: Romanator | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 08:06 AM
Isn't more the temple in the market square?
Posted by: d'ep | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 08:10 AM
I like confession. I'm definatly an odd Catholic. Not so much a fan of the group sessions. I had a priest say, at a week-long series of speeches, that if another priest yells at you in the confessional, you are supposed to tell him to F**** off and to go to hell and walk out.
Way to go Catholic Priests! Hope this helps the reputation.
Posted by: wish i was dancing | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 08:18 AM
In the day, I saw an old Catholic priest, complete with brogue, drag a boy from the confessional by the ear to the front door, and boot him down the steps. He forgot that my friend was an altarboy, serving mass the next day. Gary filled the large chalice to the brim for the first cleansing. The priest is obliged to consume the contents afterwards. He finished communion a bit flushed. Gary in the meantime, had refilled the crystal beaker. When he signalled for wine to finish the cleaning, my faithful friend continued pouring despite how many times the cup was tipped, and despite the frantic effort to get away and not spill a drop. Again he had to drain the full chalice. Kelley was no stranger to drink, but the bulbous red nosed bastard ended the service by saying "the mass is over, g'won home, get the hell outa here". Gary never served again.
Maybe you had to be there.
Posted by: debilsadvocado | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 08:44 AM
Actually no, debils...I laughed my ass off at your story.
I think the priests need to stay in their churches and hear confession there. Although, if they displace the absolutely ANNOYING folks in kiosks who want to spray me down with their hideous perfumes or try to get me to buy their cell phone plan, I'm all for it. Hell, I'll even do confession and I'm not even Catholic.
Posted by: pnwgal | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 08:56 AM
If they wanna take some interesting confessions, they should hang out at Bed Bath & Beyond. Actually, being priests, they probably already do.
Posted by: Me | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:03 AM
Oh for the love of bob. They'll go back to selling indulgences for cash next.
This is actually somewhat contradictory to what the nazi pope is saying nowadays, that he wouldn't mind a smaller but purer church. I wouldn't be surprised if this stops pretty quickly.
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:13 AM
Just as long as it isn't near a Gap Kids store.
Posted by: Bill | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:15 AM
Well I never sin so I'm all set.
Posted by: The Asshole Guy | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:17 AM
I went to Houston for a conference last summer and surprised to see they had a small church in the airport where you could confess. Is this common across the country?
Posted by: Beyotch Knowles | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:18 AM
Bless me father, for I have sinned....you see, they have little boys pants half off and......father? father?....where are you running off to?????
Posted by: jimmyjohn | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:19 AM
I actually know a Capuchin who's a pretty cool guy. I have no problem with them or with Jesuits, mostly because they don't seem (on the whole, there are always exceptions) to have their thumbs stuck firmly up their asses and they actually have an interest in discussing questions instead of just keeping their world view as narrow as possible.
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:19 AM
V; at 12 I was living in Italy with my family. I loved libraries and still do. Met a worldly Francican monk at one in Florence. We were pals for weeks. His research for the Vatican took him to the best libraries in the world. They paid him to read, study, write, pray, and travel. Very cool guy with surprisingly uncatholic hetero leanings. An academic with a hunger for life, and a lot of questions. His vocation appealed to me for about one year. Then I discovered Rock 'n Roll.
Does anyone know if monks have the same behavior requirements as priests?
Posted by: thomas | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:41 AM
Actually, that depends on the order. Some have the same requirements, some don't. I think even the chastity *requirement* is flexible in some orders, but *highly* recommended. Monks don't take holy orders either, so if they want out they can just say "okay guys, it's been fun, but I gotta go now. Seeya!"
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:48 AM
But Capuchins, I believe, are monk-like priests. Therefore they can say mass. The fellow who presided over my marriage was a Capuchin, and he even wore the friar tuck robes for the reception. Cool guy.
FYI - in the Catholic tradition the actual marrying happens between the bride and groom (and bob.) The priest just acts as witness.
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 09:50 AM
"I went to Houston for a conference last summer and surprised to see they had a small church in the airport where you could confess. Is this common across the country?"
Actually Beyotch it's pretty commonplace to see a Chapel in most large airports. Never actually seen anyone in one as I walked past, but a lot have them.
Posted by: R | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 10:12 AM
and bob's your uncle.
Posted by: thomas | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 10:33 AM
:D
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 10:34 AM
Christianity GOOOOODDDD, Religon BAAAADDDD!!!!!!
Posted by: ol'dog | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 11:03 AM
Need sterilization booth at the mall.
Posted by: Farmer Bob | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 11:17 AM
I live in a fairly large city (Ft. Lauderdale) and we don't have one. LaGuardia doesn't either. Maybe I've just traveled to places too full of liberal heathens?
Posted by: Beyotch Knowles | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 12:57 PM
As for the mall confessional, the Catholic Church is just going to where the people (i.e., sinners) are ... kind of like the storefront churches in cities. I too have a feeling that good ol' Benedict the whatever-number-they-are-up-to will soon put a stop to such populism. (Although he might permit one next to the Prada shoe store!)
My mom's cousin is a Capuchin priest who does missionary work in New Guinea. He's a good guy.
Catholic monks take vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, but do not take formal holy orders like priests do. A monk can become a priest if he graduates from a Catholic seminary and is ordained by a bishop. Although monks take vows and belong to religious orders, they're considered to be part of the laity like ordinary Catholics. The same thing goes for nuns, except that they aren't allowed to become priests.
Monks, priests and nuns can always leave their religious orders and return to ordinary life. There are a number of ex-priests and ex-nuns in my family.
Posted by: Phranqlin | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 12:58 PM
Thanks, that clears up a bit of confusion, Phranqlin.
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 01:03 PM
I am an athiest, I also don't like noisy crowds. I have sought out the chapel during long layovers as it is often the quietest place in the airport.
Nothing spiritual about it in my eyes, just plain tranquil.
Posted by: Bill | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 01:07 PM
V
Pope Benedict did belong to Hitler Youth, as did virtually every other non-internee teenager did during that period. That doesn't make him a nazi now or then. It is well to keep in mind that the Nazi's were interning and exterminating catholics as well--if the war had gone on much longer Benedict would have a tatoo on his wrist. If he'd lived.
The Nazi's were in officially power from 1933 to 1945 and they were anything but fools.
Posted by: NellAgain | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 01:08 PM
I base that on my personal opinion of a man whose job for many years was to oversee and protect the 'purity' of catholic doctrine. Whether he was a member of the hitler youth by choice or force really doesn't interest me. His elitism is what earned him that moniker in my books. That is my opinion of that person's worth. If you disagree, I'm fine with that. I actually don't care.
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 01:12 PM
Also please note that I used the term as an adjective, with a lower case 'n'. This was deliberate, and was intended to convey that while he may not be an actual National Socialist, he has tendencies which remind me strongly of people who are. Therefore I call him nazi pope. In front of my conservative catholic mother, who doesn't even disagree.
Posted by: V | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 01:15 PM
He's just a man in drag wearing a silly hat, who happens to be the CEO of the worlds largest real estate company, while proclaiming apostolic decendancy as the reason all other christian faiths and followers will fail in heavenly persuits. whew.
Posted by: debilsadvocado | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 01:51 PM
Kudos, V. I have a tendency to agree with you. Coming from a family that was oppressed by the Nazis, it doesn't really matter if Herr Pope is/was a Nazi-he still participated in a Nazi organization.
But then I'm just an office drone-what the hell do I know? :-)
And a nod towards debilsadvocado for the most accurate description of the Pope I've read.
Posted by: pnwgal | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 02:26 PM
Set it up next to Victoria's Secret. Then see how many guys stand around and gawk at the undies.
Posted by: Scooter Trash | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 02:39 PM
I've always thought of being a Trappist monk, purely because of their delicous Chamay Ale. Very good stuff.
Posted by: yucca | Friday, September 21, 2007 at 04:34 PM
confession time: when I read "Capuchin monk" earlier, I swear I thought it said "monkey," and I thought, I bet those are cute.
Posted by: Soo | Saturday, September 22, 2007 at 02:11 PM