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Columnist doesn't want to have baby photos e-mailed to him
Joel Stein's message to friends: "I'm overjoyed that you got to experience the miracle of fertility treatments. But I don't want you to e-mail me your baby pictures. Here's something you knew before you got pregnant but forgot in the mess of hormones and Nutella: All babies look the same." (Los Angeles Times)
March 6, 2007 | Permalink
Comments
I love Joel Stein. When he wrote for Entertainment Weekly I used to see him on the F train a lot in the mornings. Very cute in person.
Posted by: beyotch knowles | Mar 6, 2007 6:10:14 AM
This may be the first time I've ever actually enjoyed one of Joel Stein's columns. Normally I find him not to be nearly as clever as he thinks he is.
But having said that, I'm totally with him on this. I'm childless by choice, and don't need or want to know any of the gory details of someone else's labor. And while babies may be cute (and I don't mind them from a distance), I'm really only interested in them when they're old enough to tell me what their problem is and why they're crying. No baby whisperer, me.
Posted by: dep | Mar 6, 2007 6:11:09 AM
you guys are haters... Joel, too..
Haters...
Posted by: | Mar 6, 2007 6:19:06 AM
Intentionally barren and thrilled over here.
Posted by: Amy Alkon | Mar 6, 2007 6:33:52 AM
For some reason, people didn't like it when I described my 1-day-old nephew as looking like Walter Matthau disguised as a burrito. (trust me -- he had that jowlly face, and was wrapped up in a tight little bundle)
Posted by: Joe | Mar 6, 2007 6:41:54 AM
Huzzah!
Our department secretary is a facilitator of this behavior; you'd think she'd filter instead of just forwarding. An infant is not a new addition to the $Academic_Department. It isn't writing papers or applying for grants or even making coffee.
Posted by: Cobalt | Mar 6, 2007 6:42:22 AM
I love babies, but I don't pass around pics of mine unless asked. :)
Newborns are wonderful and fascinating (to me) - but their beauty is not necessarily physical. Besides that, I don't want to see a hundred pictures of anyone's pet, their newest purchase, or latest vacation. It is one of those things where if someone is interested, they will ask.
Then I will oblige with pleasure.
Posted by: WZ | Mar 6, 2007 7:18:26 AM
I find that people are accosted when they are pregnant; random people just walk up to you and put their hands all over you.
Just simple payback.
Step away from the belly and I won't email you any pictures of my child.
Posted by: invah | Mar 6, 2007 7:20:26 AM
Umm...AMEN.
In deference to invah, I don't molest pregnant women unless a) I know them well and b) they specifically invite me to do so. In return, while I will enjoy a photo or two of the new arrival, I don't wish to be privy to the intimate details of labor and delivery, nor do I want to view a work day's worth of photos.
I love babies, don't get me wrong. They don't talk back, they don't borrow your car and they don't get in your purse and take all your money. But...trust me. No one, except maybe grandparents, is as enamored with your new infant as you are.
Posted by: pnwgal | Mar 6, 2007 7:33:55 AM
One good thing about you childless freaks is that you won't have offspring to carry-on your creepy legacy.
Wierd people not having wierd offspring is good for mankind.
Long live the breeders!
Posted by: Otis Chance | Mar 6, 2007 7:39:44 AM
I'll buck the trend here and say that I like baby pictures. But it is true that all newborns look pretty much the same.
Posted by: Phranqlin | Mar 6, 2007 7:40:43 AM
After I had my daughter, I didn't want to take a million pictures and pass them around - I know all babies are blotchy and swollen faced at first. If I don't want to be seen that way, I'm going to assume my little girl doesn't either. What I never understood is why people wanted to see her at that moment so bad, and how they figured out which one of us (me or my husband) she looked like. All babies DO look the same during that time.
Posted by: Lady Luck | Mar 6, 2007 7:48:14 AM
By all means, take no joy in a wonderful thing occurring to someone you know. By all means, shut people out. By all means, express this opinion to people you know so that they know not to talk to you again.
And people wonder what's wrong with society. There you go.
Posted by: Betty | Mar 6, 2007 8:04:34 AM
Ditto, Betty.
If you don't wish to share in your friends triumphs and tragedies, why keep them as friends?
You know, an excellent way to rid your inbox of these pesky baby emails is to reply that you aren't interested in seeing pictures of children. Then say that all newborns look alike and that theirs is no different. I'm sure you'll never be bothered again with the details of someone's distasteful personal life.
Posted by: Miss-Black | Mar 6, 2007 8:19:56 AM
Not to go off on a completely orthogonal diatribe, Betty, but what is wrong with society today is that each and every person believes deep down in their heart of hearts that every facet of their lives is universally interesting to all, worthy of at least a TV miniseries if not an entire dedicated 24 hour news channel. We have not, thankfully *yet*, reached the point where this is technologically possible, but we do have youtube, and all the associated sites (Myspace, etc) all about me, me, me, wonderful me. So could we please all just refrain from deluging each other with way TMI about the private minutia of our lives - photos, notecards, and those godforsaken family newsletters?
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find out what Britney shaved bald next.
Posted by: Drake Timbershaft | Mar 6, 2007 8:21:47 AM
If you don't wish to share in your friends triumphs and tragedies, why keep them as friends?
--------------
So would having a child rate as a triumph or a tragedy?
Personally, I'm indebted to the breeders of the world--have them all. That way I don't have to. The fact is that more and more people are choosing to remain childfree. Furthermore, statistically, the more educated people are, the fewer children (if any) they have. Of course, that brings up a whole other subject--if this trend continues, the dumbing of America is imminent.
And it may be weird, but at least we can spell.
Posted by: childfree and loving it | Mar 6, 2007 8:39:18 AM
I think I'm the only preggo person in our group of regulars so naturally I've got a comment.
I agree with Stein for the most part. I don't plan on e-mailing the world photos of Junior after he gets here unless someone intentionally ASKS for photos (grandmothers, etc.). The TLC channel's life lesson on "Not everyone wants to see your baby pictures." is spot on.
We have one friend who sends us new photos of their kid (who is about 1.5 now) every few weeks and it gets really old after a while. I'm just too chicken to ask them to cut it out.
The one thing I will disagree with Stein on is that I don't think all babies look alike. Some of them are UGLY as heck. They can't help it, poor things. But it reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where they talk about the ugly baby.
Some babies go through a long "ugly" phase before hitting that "cute as a button" phase. We have friends who had a baby that I swear resembled an infant monkey for the first year. It was undeniable. She is now almost four and grew out of it, looks really cute.
I'm sure we'll love Junior from the start but even I can admit the truth if he comes out looking like a Conehead.
Posted by: Swangirl | Mar 6, 2007 8:44:05 AM
If you don't wish to share in your friends triumphs and tragedies, why keep them as friends?
--------------
So would having a child rate as a triumph or a tragedy?
--------------
I guess if you considered it a tragedy then you would have had an abortion and we never would have had to hear about any of it.
BTW, your spelling is impeccable!
Posted by: Miss-Black | Mar 6, 2007 8:50:03 AM
If people would just create a blog or website to post their precious critters pictures on, then it gives everyone a choice to either look at it or not. I did that, and it works splendidly.
As an aside, I just don't understand the militant anti-breeders out there. I respect the right to choose not to have children, but its when they get all hateful that I wonder if they even understand where they came from.
Posted by: curt | Mar 6, 2007 8:50:20 AM
I'll never understand the child-free backlash. So I don't plan on having kids... why is that weird? why is there the assumption that there is something wrong with me?
I think kids are great, and I'm having a hell of a time being "The Favorite Aunt" to my two nephews. I have a great relationship with my family and my inlaws. I don't hate babies or children. I simply don't want any of my own. My husband and I enjoy our careers and our hobbies and I hardly think we're doing the overpopulated planet a disservice by not breeding.
Posted by: | Mar 6, 2007 8:54:08 AM
You frauds only wish you were so popular to be inundated by baby picture emails.
Keep grasping for straws on why you are child-free losers.
The "more educated people are, the fewer children (if any) they have" quote is classic.
Whatever makes you feel good about yourself.
Posted by: Otis Chance | Mar 6, 2007 8:55:49 AM
Why is that weird?
It's not. But hearing about your decision to remain childless is just as annoying as baby picture emails.
Nobody cares about your choice, either.
It's especially funny when its used as illustration of somehow being smart than everyone else.
Posted by: Otis Chance | Mar 6, 2007 8:59:01 AM
Thanks Miss-Black! I see your point re: abortions, etc., and for the most part I agree. Personally, I'm in the "it's none of my damn business what you do or don't do with your body" camp. Unfortunately there are many people out there who viewed their pregnancy as a tragedy and had the baby anyway. That's the trend I'd like to see stopped, and not necessarily by abortion. Easy access to birth control (that doesn't cost an arm and a leg) and easier routes to adoption is a start. I've worked with kids whose mommies didn't really want them, and it's heartbreaking.
I apologize for going off topic here--please forgive!
Posted by: childfree and loving it | Mar 6, 2007 8:59:46 AM
Betty and Miss-Black are right on. Why doesn't the rarely-amusing Stein care about his friends and their lives? That's the question here. Certainly no one would be expected to care much about the babies of strangers or acquaintances, but our strenuously surly columnist is complaining about his friends! I am tempted to read sour grapes/envy/defensiveness into something that unreasonable. Same on all you oh-so-put-upon childless-by-choicers.
Posted by: Comstock | Mar 6, 2007 9:02:52 AM
Otis, feel free to look it up. (No, I won't do your research for you. Here's a hint though--try the Harvard studies.)
And I believe you meant "...somehow being smarter than everyone else."
Posted by: childfree and loving it | Mar 6, 2007 9:03:56 AM
