Why the painfully obvious explanations on painfully obvious objects?

Do we really have to be told that dusters are for dusting and the ballpoint pen is for "general writing"? "Maybe we've been pointing to the wrong culprits when we attempt to assign blame for the dumbing down of America," writes Lenore Skenazy. "It is quite possible that people are growing dumber than dog biscuits for the simple reason that they are being treated this way by the world in which they shop." || Speaking of dumb America, I recently saw Mike Judge's "Idiocracy" on DVD and recommend it highly. (New York Sun)

Comments

[oxhead]

People aren't really growing dumber, just more litigous.

There are billions of people in the world, and therefore it is statistically very likely that for every mundane object of everyday use there is at least one person who will try, or has tried, to use it to fight hemorrhoids (or somesuch lunacy).

Warnings are just a way to ward off potential lawsuits.

[Cameltoes]

Yeah but people still manage to file suit anyway. Look at that idiot woman who drank too much water and died. She mad a stupid decision, and because of it, someone has to sue for it.
People think that just because they messed up, someone else has to pay because no one was there to prevent them from making stupid decisions.

[oxhead]

litigious.

[SwarthyTroll]

I think part of it is that we subconsciously think that a "package" covered in writing means the product inside is better. Look at how the generic products in a supermarket have far less writing on them when compared to the brand names, which do include a lot of useless information. Even though I make a concerted effort to always buy generic stuff, the packaging of the brand names is what grabs my attention.

I don't think we are getting "dumber" as a species, just that we are realizing we aren't as smart as we thought we were. Marketers are constantly discovering new ways to appeal to our instincts, and thus bypassing our intellects completely.

[Wonko the Sane]

"It seemed to me that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a detailed instructions for use in ordering a cup of coffee, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane."

--So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
Douglas Adams

[SwarthyTroll]

Oh yeah, I also recommend Idiocracy.

[Phranqlin]

It's inevitable when you have a surfeit of both stupid people and lawyers. Some people actually are dumb enough to do the painfully obvious things that warning labels tell you not to do. Instead of chalking up the inevitable disaster as a lesson learned, they sue. Laywers being plentiful, they don't have a problem finding one that will take on their case in the hope of making an easy buck. The company settles out of court to avoid paying out even more money and slaps a dumb warning label on their product to stop the next idiot. Lather, rinse, repeat.

[H]

Oxhead has it right. I spent 15 years working for a company that analyzes this sort of thing. We tried to find out what sort of warning labels actually work. We found that people see the warnings and ignore them, because it's rare that the bad effect ever happens. People tell you to wear your seat belt, but you get to work just fine with it or without it. So the warning was just another case of crying wolf. Of course in cases where the seat belt would have worked, you can't say "I told you so" to somebody who got killed.

What we found is that ultimately, a good warning label is one that discloses the risks so a jury can be told that the person should have known better. This benefits consumers since it makes us less likely to have to pay inflated prices due to litigation. And we can read the warnings in case there is something that is not obvious.
Or we could use common sense. If only it were really common.

[Rutabaga]

It isn't confined to labeling. Take a sporting event on the television. There has to be two or three announcers who are hired by the network to fill all the dead air with chatter. My buddy Darren, from England, brought this up last night during the football game. No athlete is 100% perfect in their performance, but you would think that they should be by the commentary.

And SwarthyTroll is absolutely right about marketing. The box has to be large enough to look important but then the outside of the packaging has to be filled with something.

[Swangirl]

I used to think that the warnings on dry cleaner bags (WARNING: Not to be used as a child's toy!) were ridiculous until I began hanging out here and saw the number articles about lax/idiot parents who end up doing harm to their kids through their stupidity.

There was a Reader's Digest humor item many years ago that talked about a Chinese couple who had come to the U.S and gone on their first trip to the grocery store. They were all excited about dining on their first American meal of fried chicken. Imagine their surprise and dismay when they brought it home and ended up opening a can of Crisco.

I'm sure in those days the words "serving suggestion" were not under the photo.

[serafina]

"Idiocracy" was close enough to home to be more disturbing than funny...but still recommended, if only for Stephen Root's Wolverine-esque hairdo. Also the toilet-recliner and tubs of snack goo, which are right out of David Foster Wallace's "Infinite Jest."

[Soo]

I normally read warning labels on anything I plan to buy for two reasons: I don't want to use something improperly, and sometimes they're downright funny.

I'd like to know who these people are who use a toaster or hair dryer in the tub. Perhaps they're human lemmings, but I'm sure they'd be fun on a Saturday night.

[oxhead]

Has anyone ever wondered about the Q-Tip warning, "Do not insert in ear?"

I know there are other uses for a Q-Tip, but come on! Sticking them in my ears is the only thing I use them for.

[SwarthyTroll]

WHo doesn't use q-tips in the ear? Aside from that they make good cat toys and that's about it.

[WZ]

You're not supposed to put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. :-P

"Lather, rinse, repeat" Its no wonder so many folks run out of shampoo.........

[Chris]

This is not a step

[dryheat]

My all-time favorite is the warning that appeared on the once ubiqiutous rolled cloth hand dryers in public restrooms. "Do not put head inside loop."

[Bob]

Some of these remind me of a couple of things. First, my favorite translated warning label, supposedly on a Japanese blow dryer: "Not to be used for the other use."
Second, the old joke/urban legend of the couple that moved to America from somewhere in Africa and were horrified to see the prominent baby food jars with the picture of a baby on the label. To them this indicated what was in the jar.

[txguy]

The column is not about disclaimers or warnings. (Columnists have milked those subjects dry long ago.) It's about utility statements.

I think newspaper columnists write such tripe that they fear competition from clothing hanger wrapper copywriters. Who gets paid more per word?

[Mikey]

I recently purchased a new set of boxing gloves, heavy bag and speed bag. On each of these items was something similar to the following, which I gleaned from the Everlast website....

WARNING: Boxing, Kickboxing and Martial Arts are contact sports. The products on this site are manufactured with care and craftsmanship to provide a degree of protection, but are not warranted to prevent injury. Users of these products are subject to injury, including death. The user, therefore, must assume full responsibility for all risk of injuries. Manufacturer and distributor assume no liability for any injury or death suffered while using the product(s).

Duh....now anyone who has the slightest idea about boxing knows at the very least two people are beating each other about the face and body. Perhaps the next time I get a headache from taking a right cross I can sue the gym, my opponent, and more importantly Everlast because their headgear did not keep me from getting rattled.

PS, my wife's curling iron had a sticker on the handle warning against inserting it into a bodily orifice...

[Some Fat/Skinny Nearly Blind Lesbian]

"My all-time favorite is the warning that appeared on the once ubiqiutous rolled cloth hand dryers in public restrooms. "Do not put head inside loop.""

I actually asked one of the linen service people about this one, when he was replacing the roll-towel box in a bar I used to go to with one that had a prominent label "To be used only for drying hands, any other use blah blah blah" in both English and Spanish. I had figured some loser had used it to wipe his butt when the TP had run out.

The linen service guy told me some suicidally depressed guy in Miami hung himself with one after being jilted. This may have been bullshit, and I was probably drunk.

"Probably", hell...

[Racerboy]

Stupid labels: I bought two sets of safety restraints for my race car. On those restraints is a SFI label indicating the date of manufacture, which the sanctioning bodies use to determine the date after which the restraints are no longer considered safe and must be 'rewebbed'. Just above this SFI label is a disclaimer label which says that 'racing is dangerous and serious injury or death can occur'. Duh.

I don't think the population is getting dumber; I think that many lawyers are stretching to generate more revenue. It's gotten to the point where an accident or perceived slight is a lot like a winning lottery ticket.

[décor mirrors]

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