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Some guys now want a hug -- not just a lousy handshake
The male hug is complicating everything, says this story. "Men accustomed to the automatic and dependable hand clasp accompanied with a brisk up-and-down pump at dinner parties and college reunions, now must preface their greetings or goodbyes with intricate and split-second calculations based on body language, length of friendship and other factors," writes Douglas Brown. "Do I shake or do I hug?" (Denver Post)
May 23, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
"Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug. "
--Tommy Boy
Posted by: Saint Nate | May 23, 2005 6:23:27 AM
I tend to go for the shake/hug. Shake with the right, while pulling in and hugging (or back-patting) with the left.
Full-on hugs, though...I don't know. That's reserved for family.
Posted by: agasik | May 23, 2005 6:32:03 AM
Hugs between men? What's next? Anal Sex?
Posted by: Vader | May 23, 2005 9:03:46 AM
I wonder if its a regional thing.
Out here most guys hug. Then again I'm the san francisco area.
Posted by: Boynamedsue | May 23, 2005 11:42:49 AM
I've got a phobia about excessive touching. Handshakes are about as far as I'll go and still stay comfortable.
Posted by: | May 23, 2005 12:02:23 PM
Here's what I do: I ignore the other person's body language, and make absolutely certain that my body language screams, "I'm here to shake hands, pal." Then, if they want to hug, they have to pull me in. I acquiesce graciously but break it off as soon as possible.
Then, at the next meeting, same thing. Believe it or not, eventually some of them stop trying to paw me.
*sigh* the perils of being huggable.
Posted by: Brian Jones | May 23, 2005 12:18:51 PM
I'm a chick, and don't like the hugging -- even from closer friends. It always feels forced and uncomfortable for me. Plus, I'm in a female-dominated industry, and _everyone_ hugs. I've been hugged by clients at the end of a project.
/bristling
Posted by: RicaB | May 23, 2005 12:28:02 PM
i hug friends. Not professionals.
professionals shake hands. it dates back to when hand shaking was a gesture to show you weren't holding a weapon.
they never check my sleeves.
Posted by: Boynamedsue | May 23, 2005 1:05:56 PM
I agree, RicaB. It always feels forced (hugs at least). Now, if only we could do away with the pointless small talk that everyone also feels they need to do. I mean, why ask "How are you?" when you really don't care? Someday, a person will come back with something other than "Fine. You?"
Posted by: | May 23, 2005 1:06:42 PM
Real men have a firm handshake and be done with it!
Posted by: Zcott | May 23, 2005 1:36:01 PM
Chicks hugging is hot. Nothing like four breasts meeting together!
Posted by: | May 23, 2005 1:45:59 PM
An aspect of male hugging not explored by the story: Short men hugging tall men. I am 5-5. My buddy (who, coincidentally, works at the Denver Post) is 6-6.
Even though we go back a long ways and are both hug-type expressive people, hugging a man and having my head meet his upper chest is still weird.
Posted by: | May 23, 2005 4:33:54 PM
It has to be regional, that or an exageration of reality to make a more interesting story, because here (in the midwest) I've never run across this - thankfully. I can't see how this is in any way a good thing. A hug from a co-worker is about as professional as a slap on the ass and equally a violation of my personal space and I'd imagine my reaction would be about the same to both if it ever happened.
Posted by: not a punk | May 23, 2005 4:55:08 PM
Lighten up, people. Hugs are an intimate expression and not meant for casual acquaintances or co-workers (for the most part). And hugs are not meant to be a cheap easy way to cop a feel off a lady - but gentlemen know that. I hug the people I love, and they love getting my hugs. People need more sincere hugs and other expressions of love. It's a tough frosty world out there. Let those who you love know they have a warm place in your heart. I feel sympathy for people who abhor being touched, but to each their own.
Posted by: Dan L | May 23, 2005 8:28:43 PM
Hugs are great, but there is definately a time and place for them. At work... not so much. After a dinner party at a friends house...sure thing...hug away.
Posted by: Hugger | May 24, 2005 6:41:51 AM
Where I live & particularly among yuppie types the "kiss - kiss" on the cheek thing seems to be the order of the day. I grew up in the stoic Midwest, so this pretty much wigs me out.
But the few times I've been to a church service, the "turn around and say 'Peace' to someone" thing has always freaked me out, too.
But I don't like people very much, so it would.
Posted by: Glenn Becker | May 25, 2005 1:12:45 PM
My father inlaw was the most wonderful hugger! He was a Marine in WWII. He was a 6ft.4in tall man with huge strong arms! I really miss how he greeted us at the front door with his wonderful hugs!...
Posted by: Zsa zsa | Jun 1, 2005 5:07:34 AM
