Men beat up guy after he sleepwalks into their apartment

They returned home after a night of drinking and found the 21-year-old victim, who had been staying in a different apartment in the same complex, asleep on the couch. They beat the sh*t out of him. (Iowa City Press-Citizen)

Drunk man calls 911 to report his marijuana missing

The 21-year-old man (at left) told dispatchers that while he was in a tavern, someone broke into his truck, stole $400 cash, a jacket and about 3/4 ounce of marijuana. The dispatcher had difficulty understanding the guy because he was driving and stopping several times to vomit. (Idaho Statesman Journal)

Woman forced to wear adult diapers to work gets $150K settlement

Her employer, a construction company, wouldn't provide portable toilets so she started wearing Depends adult diapers to work every day. "It was humiliating," she said. "But I needed the job." (Philadelphia Daily News)

Update: Motorized recliner goes for $10,099 at police auction

The sale price is a bit disappointing to police because eBay bidders had driven up the top bid up to $43,500, then the chair had to be yanked off the site and relisted because it was referred to as a "La-Z-Boy," when in fact it's not. (Minneapolis Star Tribune)

Woman tells cops that a man has been secretly visiting her pad

Her evidence? It includes finding her closet door opened, clothing on hangers moved and a bathrobe smelling of men’s cologne. (Buffalo News)

Here's one Jesus-image story that I have a hard time believing

The Jesus image on a guy's truck window just won't go away -- even after he rolls down the window. Yeah, sure. Johnson City Press)

Groom on his honeymoon jumps out hotel window and dies

The bride was sleeping in the room when her husband opened a window, stepped onto the balcony and jumped at 6:45 a.m. There was no sign at the wedding that the guy was unhappy. (New York Post)

Oops!: Drive-by shooter fails to open the window before firing

The broken window ultimately led to his arrest. (Appleton Post-Crescent)

Cross-dresser gets 30 months for threatening Bush, others

He wrote in one e-mail: "I will shoot myself in the ladies bathroom at 3:30 p.m. because I do not wish to live any longer. If I live I will kill President Bush." He lived -- and didn't kill the ex-president. (Cincinnati.com)

Car side-swipes "spooked" elephant that ran away from circus

The elephant suffered a broken tusk, a hurt leg and bumps, bruises and scratches; the vehicle was able to drive away from the accident in Enid, Oklahoma. (Enid News)

Woman calls 911 to report a man lying to her about marriage

Police said they also arrested Hee Orama last week for repeatedly calling 911 because she couldn't find her car. (WSMV.com)

Woman arrested for having sex with friend's 15-year-old son

It's your standard sex-with-minor story, but I kind of like the photo of the crying woman being escorted to her hearing. (Citizens' Voice)

Woman who burned dad's penis on stove is taking a cooking class

That's taking place in jail. Brigitte Harris, who faces up to 15 years in prison for killing her dad when she's sentenced on Friday, also has been biding her time on Rikers Island by reading vampire novels. (New York Daily News)

Bill collector demands sex from woman in exchange for debt relief

A 43-year-old bill collector was arrested after offering to make a city woman’s bill go away in exchange for a sex act. She didn't go for it, so he took matters into his own hands. (Detroit Free Press)

High school won't allow student's patriotic photo in yearbook

Jordan Westgate's senior photo shows wearing his army combat hat, and standing in front of the American flag. The school says it only accepts professionally shot photos for the yearbook. (Concord Monitor)

Man caught nude in truck uses the "explosive diarrhea" defense

A deputy didn't buy it, because there was no evidence of uncontrolled bowels. Also, the guy could have easily used the bathroom inside the nearby Wal-Mart. (NBC-2.com)

Woman tosses salad dressing and coins in road-rage case

Tiffany Wallace used her pickup truck to ram another vehicle several times in a hospital parking lot, just after she threw plastic containers of ranch dressing and coins in a road-rage blowup. (Idaho Statesman)

Nude teen eats magic mushrooms, gets hit by slow-moving train

The train was traveling about 9 mph when the conductor saw the young man near the tracks. The naked guy then got on the tracks and walked directly toward the oncoming train. (Fredericksburg.com)

Unemployed teen auctions off right to rename him

The 19-year-old's auction, titled “I will legally change my name to anything,” seeks a minimum bid of $5,000. Four days in, Calvin Gosz has a handful of people tracking the page but no bids. (Hardly a surprise.) (Sheboygan Press)

Update: Man gets three years in prison for sex with horse

It's safe to let your horses run free for the next 36 months. "I'm sorry about what I've done," said Rodell Vereen, who was caught in the act with a horse named Sugar. "I didn't mean to do it. It's my fault. I'm sorry for what I've done to myself." The Sun News)

What the...?! Man cuffs longtime friend, demands sex from her

The woman was able to escape. During a phone conversation, Tony Dale Green described an elaborate plan to restrain the woman and take nude photos of her so he could blackmail her with the images and have "consensual" sex with her once a week "as a treat," according to an arrest affidavit. (Orlando Sentinel)

Bank robber pulls his heist, then heads to the golf course

The 50-year-old man spent $30 of his loot on gasoline and stashed the remaining $570 in his the golf bag he was toting in the Phalen Golf Course parking lot, where police arrested him. (St. Paul Pioneer Press)

Firefighter accused of spiking wife's tea with anti-depressant

The woman -- a police detective -- realized the tea was drugged after her 3-year-old son drank the rest of the beverage and then spit a white substance back into the mug. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Shout-outs to inmates could land you in jail in Paw Paw, Mich.

The Paw Paw jail has no air conditioning, so its barred windows are opened in warm weather, causing some people to stand outside and yell for their friends and loved ones inside. That's illegal, starting next month. (Associated Press)

Man stabs himself so he doesn't have to go to his job at Blockbuster

A 29-year-old man who claimed he was attacked and stabbed has admitted he stabbed himself because he didn't want to go to work at Blockbuster. (The Denver Channel | Denver Post)

Mom, daughter hold up signs admitting they stole gift card from girl

Because the women, 35 and 56, agreed to hold the signs, the district attorney says he'll ask for probation instead of jail when they plead guilty to the theft. (Associated Press)

Judge: Man has to pony up $10K to sue workers he robbed

A man who was shot and beaten by party store employees he had just robbed was ordered Monday to post a $10,000 bond in order to continue his lawsuit against them. He's seeking $125,000 in damages. (Macomb Daily News)

Cowboys cheerleader criticized for going blackface on Halloween

Whitney Isleib, a white Dallas Cowboys cheerleader since 2008, dressed as black rapper Lil Wayne. (Dallas Morning News | Photos)

Police auction of infamous chair halted because it's not a La-Z-Boy

Picky, picky, picky. Bidding on eBay went past $40,000, but now the bidding will have to start all over again. The La-Z-Boy people complained that the recliner isn't their brand, as was advertised for the auction. (Minneapolis Star Tribune)

Christian bookstore clerk arrested after camera found in bathroom

A female patron of the Family Christian Bookstore called police after she noticed what appeared to be a camera in the bathroom. Officers found a camera hidden in between boxes in the corner of the restroom. There was footage that showed the bookstore clerk (left) hiding the camera. (KTLA.com)